Monday 7 November 2011

Rattitude



That's what's needed. Someone has to start selling ebooks around here. Someone with verve, tenacity, a smooth tongue and a tricycle. Rats have no shame, no reputation to lose. Those went out with the Pied Piper and the original sinking ship. My only goal is to weasel my way into your pockets affections.

So, first things first. I've bound and gagged the publisher. I popped a straw in the corner of her mouth with a nice cup of lapsang souchong nearby. And I discounted the books — slash, slash. They're down to half price, for a fortnight only. Think of the pleasure to be gained for $5.50 from the lyrically erotic shenanigans of darling Chjara Vallée in The Glass Harmonica; imagine 20 perfectly curiously amorous couplings (and near-couplings and would-be couplings) for only $5 in Slightly Peculiar Love Stories.

I know, I'm just a rat but by all accounts these writers chew it up.

Look, you don't even have to buy an ebook. You might just feel sorry for the outfit called RMB with its high flying ideals, or for the kids in India still waiting for RMB to break even so they can benefit from a cut of the profits and learn to read . . .

Just go through the pay procedure, take an ebook or leave it — call it a donation if you want to.

Tell you what, every time I wake up and find a book sold or a donation made, I'll change my outfit, antic and vehicle. Watch me.

I am the rat.

Pssst . . . pass it on.

12 comments:

Isabel Doyle said...

Ok, I will try.

From one Ratty to another ...

Can we make requests? Ratty in a bi-plane, mit goggles?

Isabel Doyle said...

Penelope, when I clicked on the BUY link nothing happened, no form appeared - my ignorance or the site needs help? Or not possible from Exile Land? If the latter I will try again in a few days in London ...

Penelope said...

Trust the rat to leave me with a fix (he's probable off swinging through his wardrobe. Isabal (bless you for trying) I've just tried all the Buy buttons and they all worked but they are all SLOW — I guess the transfer to Paypal is taking time. I'll let my techie know. Thank you.

Penelope said...

probably

Penelope said...

Isabel ]

(Sorry, haven't got my glasses on.)

Isabel Doyle said...

Hi Penelope - I tried again and waited, waited waited -- nothing happened for a very long time I'm afraid - and no sign at all that something ever would happen ...

Penelope said...

Oh gosh, thanks for the quality control, Isabel! Can you tell me what browser you use (Safari, Firefox etc) and which page you've tried on the website, and which book? Did you press on 'Buy this ebook' and then on the 'Buy now' which opens beneath it? (Even if you did, this is possibly proving an obstacle — too many steps.) Thanks for your help.

Penelope said...

I'm conducting research, I, to check what might be going on. Meanwhile the rat is hunting out goggles and a recipe for a bi-plane.

Isabel Doyle said...

Happy to help ... I am using windows internet explorer (?7)

I clicked on the icon of the slightly peculiar love stories - came to a bigger icon and blurb, then clicked on the green button that said buy, a space opened beneath the blurb text but nothing else happened. No buy form, just the space.

Hope this makes sense to you ...

Ratty in a bath tub?

Penelope said...

Very strange, Isabel. No one else has reported such trials. I tried to send you two emails (did send them) then realised it was to the 'no reply— blogger' address. Well, I hope London's appreciating you and if you let me know where to send it, I can forward you whatever you were trying so diligently to buy.

Isabel Doyle said...

trying again email address is
isabelinexiledoyle@gmail.com problem with email is that I can't reply (well maybe I can try here? scary) because if I do in *atar everything shuts down and turns to Arabic and I can't get back in ...

Isabel Doyle said...

tried again and still no luck
maybe it is my virus protection - is it a pop-up? Anyway, I am going to get the better half to have a look at the system for me
sorry its been such a drama

London is great!